In planning my trip to India, I knew I had to stay through
February to attend the wedding that Margaret and I were invited to by a friend
from Xavier, Ashwin. On February 8, we headed to Vidjayawada, Andhra Pradesh,
to meet up with Ashwin a few days before the wedding of his friend Ratna (who
actually studied at the University of Indianapolis) to Alekhya. His family
hosted us in their guest apartment (there were three bedrooms, but Ashwin found
it funny that we each took our own room), fed us incredible homemade south
Indian food, treated us to some ice cream at Baskin Robbins, and welcomed us
into their lives. The first night we arrived, after eating dinner, we were
whisked away to dance practice. Ashwin was supposed to be in the Sangeet, or pre-wedding
dance party/performance, and Margaret and I were to accompany him to practice.
Somehow, they managed to rope us into performing in the Sangeet as well. Never
fear, the Sangeet was still four days away; we had plenty of time to practice (luckily
we had only four moves). That night, we went with some of Ashwin’s friends to a
Tollywood movie called Mirchi. (Yes,
there is a film industry in India separate from Bollywood; Tollywood movies are
all in Telugu, the state language of Andhra Pradesh.)
Indian weddings are extensive events, and they certainly don’t always happen on
weekends like in the U.S. Ratna and Alekhya’s actual wedding ceremony was
scheduled for February 14, along with about 300,000 weddings in Andhra Pradesh
alone. No, it had nothing to do with Valentine’s Day; the marriage ceremony
time is usually determined by horoscope, and something about the alignment of
the planets made February 14 one of the most auspicious days for a wedding. Though
we arrived February 8, we had only a few days before the wedding festivities
began: first the cocktail hour, then the Sangeet the following day, then the
wedding itself two days later, and finally the reception. The wedding itself
along with the Sangeet and cocktail hour are events put on by the bride’s
family in her hometown; the groom’s family hosts the reception in his hometown,
so we would be heading to Hyderabad for the wedding.
But before we got to the wedding events, we got a chance to visit a nearby
village. Ashwin’s friend Deepak was taking his wife Usha and their daughter
back to visit with her family and attend a family wedding (while he attended
Ratna’s Sangeet with us and then left for another city to go to a different
wedding), so we tagged along, met Usha’s family, saw her uncle’s banana
plantation, and took a boat ride on the Krishna River. I learned a lot about
bananas: the trees take about 11 months to grow and yield only one crop, and
they frequently use crop rotation with turmeric. The biggest challenge was the language:
Telugu. Even Margaret couldn’t understand because most people do not speak
Hindi. Although most of Ashwin’s friends speak English (many even studied in
the U.S.), most of Usha’s family does not. Still, they welcomed us with open
arms, fed us frequently, showed us around, and took us on a boat ride. These
experiences are definitely much better than the typical tourist experiences
that we’ve largely been having since.


Because there were so many weddings on February 14, Ashwin had to pick and
choose events of the weddings, so we, along with several other of Ashwin’s
friends, stayed in Vidjayawada for the cocktail hour of a wedding we were not
attending. On the morning of February 12, Ashwin’s friend Sanketh picked us up,
along with two other friends, to drive up to Hyderabad, an approximately 4-hour
drive. We arrived, met up with Deepak, picked up Ashwin’s fiancé Deepika, and
headed over to another Sangeet practice. Here, we met the bride, Alekhya, who
also welcomed us to her home and her wedding. We sat with Deepika and got to
know her, practiced our dance moves, and then went to Ashwin’s place in
Hyderabad to rest and get ready for the Sangeet. The dance performances were
awesome, and the location was outstanding – outside, next to a lake, with a
large tree as a centerpiece. Okay, the dance performances were mostly awesome: Margaret
and I missed the cue for our dance, largely because there were people blocking
the stairs up to the stage, so we raced on with no time to think about our
moves. I actually have no idea how we did other than coming on late, but we
survived. After the performance, we had an incredible dinner and then started
in on the dance party. By the end of the night, we were exhausted. We had
danced, met many new people, and had a wonderful time. While Ashwin went out
with some other friends, his friend Aditya took Margaret and I back to get some
sleep.
The next day was Ash Wednesday, so Margaret and I hit a few of the sights in
Hyderabad and then went to church. There are many more Catholic churches in the
South than in some of the other areas we’ve been due to its longer history of
missionaries and colonialism. After dinner with Aditya, Deepika and her friend
Ayushi, and Ashwin, we went to ABCD: Any
Body Can Dance, the first 3D Hindi dance movie. As usual (and because it
started at 10:30), I fell asleep. But the parts I saw reminded me of Glee, and everyone else said it was a
terrible movie.
Finally, the day of the wedding arrived. While Margaret stayed in to get some
work done, I went with Ashwin and Deepika to the lunch hosted by the groom’s
family for their guests, then to the mall and a bar to hang out with some of Ashwin’s
friends. Ashwin then sent Margaret and me off with his driver to see a few more
of the Hyderabad sights. Traffic was terrible, and it took us forever to get to
the fort, which Ashwin said was a must-see – even more important than the
wedding. By the time we got back, tied our own saris (it takes some practice to
be able to wear 5 meters of fabric as a dress), and made it to the wedding,
many of the guests were leaving; we had missed the marriage part of the
ceremony. There was still, however, plenty going on. Ratna and Alekhya were on
the stage with the priests performing the ceremony and several of the guests, so
Ashwin took us up to watch. I couldn’t be too disappointed at missing most of
the ceremony after Ashwin’s friend Varun commented that even most Indians have
never seen a full Indian wedding ceremony. I just got the native experience.




The next day, we returned to Vidjayawada for the reception. We went to lunch at
Ratna’s house with a plan to attend the formal reception that evening, when we
heard that Ashwin had successfully secured our tickets to Hampi for a train
that left that night. So we gathered our stuff, had dinner, said farewell to
Ashwin’s family, and went to the train station, where Sanketh met us to say
goodbye, and we boarded the train. Remember how there were 300,000 weddings in
Andhra Pradesh on February 14? Well, as the receptions were all in the home cities
of the grooms, Ashwin had about four receptions to go to that night. And we
were off for our next adventures.